Daily Proverbs with Adam Qadmon
Adam Qadmon dives into the book of Proverbs. Our prayer is that you take a quick moment to read the Proverb and then listen to the podcast for that day. Together we explore how ancient wisdom is still very much alive.
John & Kim
Daily Proverbs with Adam Qadmon
Proverbs 15:28 - Words That Build or Break
Words have power. They can heal or wound, build bridges or erect walls that never come down. Our Deep Dive into "July 20" explores this reality through a seemingly simple family moment – a mother reading her brother's writing and her daughter's brutally honest reaction.
The episode begins with ancient wisdom from Proverbs 15:28 that immediately frames our discussion: the contrast between those who carefully consider their words and those who simply pour them out unfiltered. This distinction becomes vivid when the daughter bluntly declares her uncle's writing "awful trash," while her mother wrestles internally with how to provide feedback that's both truthful and kind.
What follows is a rich exploration of communication ethics that challenges common assumptions. We unpack the mother's powerful insight that "honesty is not a virtue unless it is spoken with compassion and love" – a perspective that reframes how we might approach difficult conversations. The discussion weaves through practical questions: How do we deliver necessary criticism without damaging relationships? Can truth-telling actually be harmful when divorced from empathy? What's our responsibility when we notice the flaws in someone else's efforts?
The mother's closing prayer for help to "salt my words with your loving kindness" offers a beautiful metaphor for communication that preserves both truth and relationship. We conclude with an invitation to examine your own communication patterns and consider how intentional, compassionate delivery might transform your interactions with others, especially in moments of necessary feedback.
Have you experienced the lasting impact of words spoken with or without care? We'd love to hear your thoughts on balancing honesty with kindness in your own life.
Proverbs 15:28
Genesis 5:2
Hi and welcome to the Deep Dive. Today we're digging into a short but really thought-provoking piece called July 20.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it gives us this little snapshot, doesn't it? About communication, honesty, kindness.
Speaker 1:Exactly so. The scene is basically a woman reading something her brother wrote.
Speaker 2:Right and her daughter chimes in with a pretty blunt opinion.
Speaker 1:Super blunt, and it leaves the mother wrestling with how to give feedback, that's, you know, both true and kind.
Speaker 2:So our mission today is really to unpack that how to give honest feedback well, and the power our words actually have.
Speaker 1:Okay, so it kicks off with this quote from Proverbs 15.28,. The heart of the righteous studieth to answer, but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things.
Speaker 2:And that immediately sets a theme right. It contrasts thinking before speaking with just well blurting things out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like impulsive versus considered communication. It makes you think about the intention behind what we say.
Speaker 2:And it feeds right into the mother's situation. She clearly cares about her brother.
Speaker 1:Wants to be supportive, yeah, but she also seems to have a genuine maybe not so positive reaction to his writing.
Speaker 2:It's that classic tug of war, isn't it? Love and loyalty on one side and honest assessment on the other. How do you manage that?
Speaker 1:It's tough. Have you ever been in a spot like that, where you have to balance those?
Speaker 2:Oh, definitely. And then bam, the daughter just cuts in with. Isn't that trash awful?
Speaker 1:Yeah, zero filter there.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And it's such a stark contrast to the mother's internal, you know, careful deliberation. It really highlights the massive difference between just a raw opinion and what we'd call like constructive criticism.
Speaker 2:Exactly yeah. What does that contrast tell us? Do you think about different ways people communicate?
Speaker 1:Well, it leads straight into the mother's response to her daughter, which I think is key.
Speaker 2:She says but there are ways to say it without hurting him Just saying he stings won't do anybody any good.
Speaker 1:You have a lot to learn about kindness, young lady Right, and that gets to the heart of it, the how. It's not just what you say, but the way you say it. That seems to be the main point here.
Speaker 2:Precisely, and the piece builds on that, stating a kind person will think before speaking.
Speaker 1:And this part really hits home.
Speaker 2:The power of a word to destroy is unbelievable. Yeah, an unkind word, carelessly spoken, can build walls that can never be torn down again. That's pretty heavy. Walls that can never be torn down again, that's pretty heavy.
Speaker 1:It is, it suggests, our words, especially the careless, unkind ones, can have these really lasting, damaging effects creating division instead of connection Makes you pause and weigh your words more carefully, doesn't it Absolutely? And then comes this crucial idea Honesty is not a virtue unless it is spoken with compassion and love.
Speaker 2:Ooh, that's interesting. So it's reframing honesty. It's not just about blurting out the truth.
Speaker 1:Right. Its value is tied to the kindness, the compassion behind it.
Speaker 2:So the piece is basically asking can honesty ever be truly good if it lacks empathy? It seems to argue that how you say something is just as critical, maybe even more so, than what you're saying.
Speaker 1:Yeah, especially for communication, that's meant to be, you know, helpful or constructive.
Speaker 2:And it all kind of flows into the mother's prayer at the end.
Speaker 1:Yeah, salt my words with your loving kindness, dear father. Help me to know the right words.
Speaker 2:To say in difficult situations.
Speaker 1:Let me convey only love and caring, no matter what I might have to say, it really underlines that desire for intentionality and kindness, even when the message itself is difficult. Leading with care, basically.
Speaker 2:And what's interesting is she's not asking to avoid the hard conversations. Yeah exactly, she's asking for help navigating them with empathy. It suggests even criticism can be well an act of care if done right.
Speaker 1:So, wrapping up our deep dive on July 20, it really pushes us to think about our own words, the intention, the delivery, especially when giving feedback.
Speaker 2:It leaves you with that question how can you, in your own life, find that balance between honesty and empathy?
Speaker 1:Making sure your feedback builds people up, you know, instead of tearing them down.
Speaker 2:Right, maybe think about a recent time you gave or received feedback. Looking back with these ideas in mind, yeah, what could have been different?
Speaker 1:Could focusing more on thoughtful delivery, on compassion, have changed the outcome?
Speaker 2:It's something we can all keep working on. I think that constant learning about how we connect with each other through words.